The ugly truth about, well, "The Ugly Truth"

Hi, my name is Kathy and I'm a romantic comedies addict ("Hiiiii, Kathy"). They're cheesy, formulaic, and generally filled with poorly written dialogue and outrageous situations that movie buffs won't go near with a 10' pole. But I don't usually mind. They're mind-numbingly simple, but entertaining nonetheless, and generally have a decent eye-candy factor me and my girlfriends to ogle at for an hour and a half. And even though "The Ugly Truth" (out in theaters this Friday) is filled with all the usual hogwash that I love, there's nothing more to it than we've seen in the TV trailers for the past month or so.

The premise is totally predictable: Sacramento TV news producer Abby Richter (Katherine Heigl, "Knocked Up" and "Grey's Anatomy") is a neurotic workaholic who's hopeless in love, despite the fact that she's drop-dead gorgeous. Riiiight. Mike Chadway (Gerard Butler, "300") hosts a foul-mouthed, chauvinist TV show about relationships called "The Ugly Truth." And when network execs bring Mike in to spice up their morning show, he and Abby start butting heads constantly (duh). Convinced he knows more about dating than Abby, Mike offers to help her get her new, hunky neighbor, Colin (Eric Winter), but in the process (spoiler alert for anyone with half a brain, or anyone who hasn't seen the trailer) ends up falling for her.

Now, I could make any number of witty remarks here, but that would require me to employ more humor than is exhibited throughout the entire movie. With the exception of a few memorable scenes - most notably one involving a business dinner and vibrating panties - I barely chuckled during the screening. The ugly truth about this movie is that it's little more than a snarky, double-entendre-filled battle-of-the-sexes. Walking into the movie, I knew exactly what was going to happen and fully expected the usual fluff, but I was hoping for more comedy than I had already seen in the previews. And there simply wasn't. Rather than 100 minutes of non-stop hilarity, it was a painfully mediocre romantic comedy - and that's saying something.

At the end of the flick, Abby asks Mike why he loves her. "Fuck if I know," he replies. My thoughts exactly. Heigl's character is barely likeable, let alone dateable or even believable. The idea of a woman being so austere and out-of-touch with dating standards (Abby's idea of online foreplay includes a background check and peek at her date's credit score) is unimaginative. And the fact that such an overly exaggerated character was dreamt up by three female writers is even more disheartening. Newcomer Nicole Eastman teamed up with Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith ("Legally Blonde") to create a cast full of distorted stereotypes.

Between the complete lack of romance (I couldn't even conjure up a memorable, sexy scene to include in this review) and the less-than-impressive quality and amount of comedy, it's not worth the eight or nine bucks you'd have to spend to see it on the big screen.

"The Ugly Truth"
(R), directed by Robert Luketic
Begins Friday, July 24