SYTYCD: The Dancing Condom

Ah, another Wednesday. Time again for my “So You Think You Can Dance” mid-week pick-me-up.

Mia Michaels was the guest judge this week and I was SO ready for her to be über-bitchy about the dancers. Instead there was a ten-minute exchange between her and Cat about whether or not she had warmed to any of the dancers (cough – Brandon – cough cough) and it was nothing short of obnoxious. Mia tried to claim she was only hard on Brandon before because she saw his incredible potential and wanted him to grow. Bull. Shit. Cue the tapes of her being utterly hostile toward the guy. Ugh. Let’s hope she’s better tonight.

On top of that, this week’s show was still two hours long when it easily could have been whittled down to an hour and a half. In their mini-video segments this week, the dancers recapped their last 3 weeks in the competition. Are the producers of this show that lazy? Are the contestants that boring? Come up with something. Please.

Alright, onto the dancing!

Janette and Brandon danced a cha-cha by Jean Marc and France to “Hush Hush, Hush Hush” by PCD and it was sex-ay! Janette tore up the dance floor in her skimpy, sparkly hot pink outfit. Even though the cha-cha is closer to her style (salsa), she still exceeded expectations and really blew the roof off the joint. Brandon was definitely adequate, but at times was overshadowed by Janette. There were a couple times when he was playing to the camera instead of his partner, but overall the chemistry was there and it added to this already spicy routine. They got great reviews from the judges, including two first class tickets on the Hot Tamale train from Mary, and should have no trouble making it to next week’s show.

Kayla and Kupono got a contemporary routine by Sonya to “Eyes on Fire”. It was supposed to be a vampire love story (I’m sure all the tween Twilight fans in the audience peed themselves). For once, I actually liked Sonya’s choreography and I think both of them did it justice, especially Kupono. He's actually growing on me, especially since he got paired with Kayla. Their extensions are just insane to me – their legs seem to go one for days – and their side-by-side leaps were brilliant. They also got great reviews from the judges.

Randi and Evan got a Broadway routine to "Rich Man's Frug" by Joey Dowling. Finally, we got to see Evan in his element and, in my opinion, he didn't disappoint. He started off the routine by doing a cartwheel on the table they had onstage that looked like slow-mo. It was crazy and must have taken a crazy amount of control. And that spiked hair was a great look for him (H-O-T, HOT!). Randi's costuming, unfortunately, didn't do the same for her; her dress made her look shorter and a bit thick (which is a shame because she's cute as a button). Both did a great job with the routine, but Evan really stole the spotlight this week. And somehow the judges didn't think so ... um, what? Sometimes I feel like the judges and I are watching two different routines. I'm worried they could land in the Bottom 3 this week because of the judges' lukewarm reaction to a brilliant routine.

Caitlin & Jason got a pop jazz routine by Brian Friedman to "Creator". Caitlin, who was dressed in a giant "leather condom" (as Nigel put it) with tinfoil Dino spikes, was supposed to be an alien who was coming for Jason to impregnate him. Yeah. They danced it well, but the routine was just ... bizarre. They got mixed reviews from the judges and I'm pretty sure they'll suffer a "WTF" reaction from the audience and land in the Bottom 3.

Jeanine and Phillip got hip-hop (again) with TabNap to "Love Lockdown" – and it really was a lockdown, as the two were chained together by the ankles. That just has slip-up written all over it. But they pulled it off and had some strong popping and great sharp, in-sync movements. I was a little distracted by the "chain-ography" (as Mia put it), but it was still a very cool, well-danced routine. I am kind of annoyed Phillip is still here (he's been skating by because of his strong fan-base), but they deserve to stay this week.

Melissa and Ade performed a pas de deux by Thordal Christensen to "Romeo and Juliet" and it was absolutely stunning. It was so nice to see Melissa on pointe and totally in her element. She made the routine just look effortless, which is tough to do with ballet (you really can't fake it). Ade's technique wasn't quite there, but Melissa more than made up for it. I can only hope America appreciates how absolutely beautiful it was.

Karla and Vitolio got a quickstep to "Puttin' on the Ritz". My initial thought: Train. Wreck. The odds were definitely against them: they're new partners this week, they're the most BORING people on this show, they're some of the weaker dancers and they pulled the quickstep. The routine itself was good and there were a few cool moments – at one point, Vitolio spun Karla around and her black and white frumpy frock turned into a flowy pink and orange gown – but the whole dance felt heavy. They weren't nearly as bouncy as they should have been, and that can ruin any good quickstep. They got pretty decent reviews from the judges though (oooookay?)

Bottom 3 Predictions: Karla & Vitolio probably (they're boring and not particularly memorable), but the other two spots are toss-ups. It's a tough call 'cause no one really bombed last night. I am worried for Randi & Evan because of the judges’ mediocre comments. They don't deserve to go home though, especially not based off of last night's routine. I'm pretty sure Caitlin & Jason will suffer from a "WTF" and will round out the Bottom 3. Plus, they don't seem to have the strong voting bloc some of the other dancers do. I'd like to see Karla & Vitolio go, but I wouldn't be too disappointed to see Caitlin & Jason go.